


For a Hero's Strength is Measured by His Heart

by suckmyduck



Category: Evillious Chronicles
Genre: Author's belief that Ayn did ship Miclarith in the end, Author's belief that Ayn wasn't aware that he was in love with Clarith until after Michaela came, F/F, F/M, He saw the light, POV Second Person, Unrequited Love, delicious angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 07:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5909146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckmyduck/pseuds/suckmyduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is not a song. Life is made up of a thousand songs. </p><p>You are no hero. You are a warrior.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For a Hero's Strength is Measured by His Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for two years and I just want it to be done already. And it will probably take Ayn about five more years to die, and I just can't wait that long.
> 
> A lot of things have changed since the initial draft, mostly because I read DOE Act 2 and the other updates so I also had to update the story. I'll probably have to edit this again after Act 3 gets translated.

 

[Track 0] Let’s Pretend... that I did the things that I probably knew I should.

 

                From a young age you had already known the path laid out for you.

 

                It was not that you were a serious and mature child, for you too had naive dreams of grandeur and adventure like all little boys your age did...

 

_To be a great hero like Sir Leonha –_

 

                ... yet at the same time you knew the duties and responsibilities expected of you.

 

_To suceed father as the chief of the village._

 

                In this future, pre-made for you by the expectations of everyone that surrounds you, you knew from a very young age that there was no time nor space for such things as dreams.

 

* * *

 

[Track 1] And I’m on my knees looking for the answer...

 

                There is a girl in the village so unlike everyone else. The usually warm and cheerful residents of the village grew cold and wary in her presence. Your father even told you to avoid her. The girl’s only salvation was a foreign woman who took her in, but even so, the villagers continued their cold treatment of her.

 

                And you ask why though.

 

_“...heretic –“_

 

_“–demon child...”_

 

                You never understood those answers they gave. The girl’s white hair and red eyes were certainly different from your green and green and green, but then so were all other people of the world. Were those people also bad?

 

                You are a curious little boy. Investigating the girl was not talking to the girl, your curiosity whispers.

 

                It was said that curiosity killed the cat.

 

* * *

 

  
[Intermission Track] I see your face in every punch I take, and every bone I break.

 

                In the future you have in store for you, you would lie beside a well, bleeding through your bandages from where an arrow had struck through your leg, vision failing you as you try to run to her, or crawl to her, or save her.

 

                You try to breathe through the blood clogging your lungs (you must have broken a rib) because to breathe is to live. Because you swore to yourself to protect her or die trying. Against your will, memories flood through your mind and what stood out the most, more than your father, more than the village, more than training and the friends you’ve made in the army, was a meek little girl that you saw through a window three times as tall as yourself.

 

                (Your arms hurt from when you dragged that barrel under the window, your fingers hurt from when you tried to pull yourself up to the window, your legs hurt from when you tried to run back to your house...)

 

                Everything hurts. But you remember her.

 

                (you laid on your bed and thought back to that girl, every muscle in your body cried, but your lungs longed to swell up once more at the memory and your heart had beat wildly in agreement)

 

                You decide that it was worth it.

  
                (You decided that it was worth it)

 

* * *

 

[Track 2] ... And now she’s waiting for the right kind of pilot to come.

 

                You think that she was a walking contradiction before you even knew the word.

 

                She was so different.

 

                You wonder why you had not noticed her before but it seems that she blended into the background, not unlike a ghost.

 

                Is that why they were afraid of her?

 

                She was also very small. The other girls that encircled her towered over her like trees. You are reminded of a white rabbit you chased after in the Millennium Forest. You feel bad for the rabbit girl (you call her that because you do not know her name and you cannot ask because that meant talking to her which you were forbidden to do). Perhaps, you think, she did something bad, because Chelsea, Alma and Barbara are usually very friendly girls. But, you think again, so is the rest of the village, yet when it comes to this girl–

 

                In your reverie, you notice Chelsea and her friends as they leave, faces painted with victory, as if they had peppered salt on a snail. All but one had remained... or so you thought.

 

                The rabbit girl is gone.

 

                You almost chase after her.

 

                Almost.

 

                (You just have to keep a closer eye on her then.)

 

* * *

 

[Track 3] It’s so easy now to think for yourself anymore.

 

                She tripped and fell while out on the fields again. Someone had bumped into her. Again. For the fifth time that day.

 

                You are thirteen and by now you know why the village seems to hate the rabbit girl– no not rabbit girl...

 

_Clarith._

 

                You heard the name spat out like phlegm obstructing the man’s lungs after someone shoved the poor girl towards a bucket of weed poison which ruined the crops on the neighboring patch of land. And of course your father heard about it and threatened to burn the shaking girl on a cross as he always did to scare her. You have never seen your father act so cruel before. It really made you believe that, one day, those threats would not remain just so for long.

 

                But the girl was simply unfortunate was she not? Even if the Netsuma Clan was involved in the massacres hundreds of years ago, even if they did terrorize Elphegort once upon a time, even if they were outsiders; Clarith, at worst, was just a clumsy little girl. Should children carry the sins of their fathers?

 

                You know why the village hates Clarith. But you still do not understand.

 

                You think it is wrong for the village to treat her like this. You think that society is wrong to persecute children for who their fathers and their mothers were. You think, and think, and think, but you speak not a word. You do not want to be branded a traitor; you still need to succeed your father. Your family. So you bury those thoughts alongside your dreams deep down the darkest part of your heart and you plaster on a carefree smile for your father and your friends as you try to dismiss the girl’s sorrowful face from your mind.

 

* * *

 

[Track 4] ‘Cause I’ve seen you cry way too many times...

 

                She had brought home a bird.

 

                You are twenty-one and are passing by her house by the very window you had climbed all those years ago. You catch the sound of her talking to someone. Perhaps her mother? But as you walk by her house a few days after, you notice a green bird at that windowsill.

 

                A robin.

 

                You hear a smile through her voice as it flows through the window, and you imagine it on her face. Fingers wrapped in bandages peek through the window, that you notice had become only a head taller then you as you grew through the years, and they reach around to take down the misshapen cage until they disappeared altogether. And then you are left with your thoughts.

 

                You feel a nagging tug at your chest. Curiously it is sadness that washes over you.

 

                Should I not be happy that she has finally found a friend?

 

                Her mother had fallen ill and the villagers still treats her harshly, yet you notice a slight bounce in her steps and a faint sparkle in her eyes in the times that you had see her for the next few days. In three years you had managed to talk to her, however sparse the words were in your conversations. Her wariness had contributed to this but you still try, and you could only pray that this sad girl remain otherwise from now on.

 

                On the next day, you see Chelsea pushing Clarith away before calling her a “filthy Netsuma”. As you pass by her house, by the window you had climbed all those years ago, you notice that there is no oddly colored robin by the windowsill.

 

* * *

 

[Track 5] He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus...

 

                Your father comes home with a very disgruntled look etched on his aged face. There is a new addition to the village who had been taken in by Clarith and her mother. The new girl paid their rent and more, and you hope that this girl was as good a person as your first impression of her.

 

                Michaela is a lovely girl; friendly, cheerful and kind. The village loves her and treats her warmly despite her affiliation with Clarith and your nagging thoughts about the village’s two-faced behavior are suddenly threatening to resurface from that place deep down your heart. You have no trouble befriending Michaela. You were friends with everyone, even Chelsea and her posse who you notice were even friendlier than before.

 

                Since the arrival of her new house guest, the bounce and sparkle comes back to Clarith, much like when she brought home the robin a few months ago.

 

                You like being friends with Michaela. She is a lovely girl inside and out. A part of you, deep inside where your dreams and doubts laid feels guilty every time your heart beats louder, faster, whenever Michaela talks about Clarith. Michaela talks about Clarith a great deal. But you also think the fondness in Michaela’s tone whenever she talks about the other girl is a refreshing change from “Why would you care about a Netsuma.”

 

* * *

 

  
[Track 6] ... ask her if she wants to stay a while.

 

                For the first time in a long while, you look back to your childhood aspirations. You may be no hero, but heroes are not the only ones who need courage.

 

                Clarith is alone on her way back from the fields. No Michaela, no angry villagers spouting vitriol on the poor girl.

 

                After having watched her for the longest time and small feats of bravery in the form of brief chatter here and there, you had decided to actually initiate a proper conversation with her. You are nervous and you wonder if this was how she felt when she invited Chelsea to dinner a few months ago. You have talked with her before, calmly, confidently, friendly even, but as you take your first step towards her you realize that you do not know what to say to her. This sends your heart hammering on the walls of your chest in a frenzy.

 

                _“Hi there, I’ve been watching you for about ten years. We don’t really talk much but I know a lot about you because my father, who hates you if you didn’t already know, keeps insulting you at our table, which you probably already knew because you were the one who cooked our food. I am totally not stalking you or any –“_

 

                She appears closer with every step you take and it’s just a matter of time before she is right in front of you.

  
                You clear your mind and remember to smile like you always do. Just like sword training with Eugen, basics first.

 

                “ Clarith!”

 

                One step at a time and you will get there eventually.

 

* * *

 

[Track 7] And I don’t know what to do; ‘cause I’ll never be with you.

 

                You end up talking about the harvest festival, or to put it accurately, you are doing the talking while Clarith nervously mumbles short replies (“um” counts as a reply right? ‘Yes’ is a complete sentence). Still, she didn’t run away like you expected her to. You must have surprised her, walking up to her without warning, because she ducked her head as if she was expecting a scolding.

 

                A few moments later, you see Michaela walk towards you from the fields and from the moment you call her name it becomes just you two talking. Clarith looks relieved and and anxious at the same time (you remember thinking she was a walking contradiction and now you know the word) so you decide to cut the conversation short and let Michaela ask Clarith about the Harvest Festival.

 

                You look back as you wave goodbye, and Michaela waves back, while Clarith continues to look like her shoes were the most interesting things in the world. Seeing them together nowadays sends a pang to your chest for reasons you still didn’t know.

 

                You think that maybe this is envy, that you know Clarith would be more comfortable talking with Michaela than you.

 

                You think that maybe this is guilt, that while you did nothing to hurt her, you also did nothing to help, and only kept watching because you were no brave hero in an adventure story, you were Villager A, a nameless bystander who can’t do anything.

 

* * *

 

[Intermission Track] You have stolen my heart.

 

                When time comes that you finally put a name to your feelings, you find that you felt both, but above all you felt regret that you tried too little, too late.

 

                 It is this moment when you have sorted out all of your feelings for Clarith that you decide to give it your all from then on. The ahses of your dreams rise and gives birth to a tiny flame. You are still aware of your responsibilities and the expectations placed on you, like a cape constantly hanging down your shoulders, just as you always have. You realize however that you don’t need to be a hero like Gast Venom or Leonhart Avadonia to want to protect the people you love.

 

                 At least not yet.

 

* * *

 

[Track 8] ... when time and confusion collide...

 

                 You feel fear. It is cold; freezing your heart in a beat and painfully crawling in your veins with each tick of the clock.

 

                 Clarith’s mother has passed on, which means that there is nothing holding the village back from showing hostility at the slightest nudge. Eavesdropping is a terrible habit of yours, but if it can save people, if it can save Clarith then so be it.

 

                 Your father had been stealing the taxes from Earl Felix. Eugen had found out about it and threatened to turn your father over to the authorities, but unfortunately your father acted quicker and poisoned Eugen. And now he is placing the blame on Clarith.

 

                 The village is in chaos, as if they had been preparing for this moment for all of their lives. Frustration, red hot, spreads from your forehead down to your shoulders much like the fear freezing your knees. Despite ‘responsibility’ and ‘expectations’ draped on you, weighing you down, you realized for some time now that it had not given you any power whatsoever. It smothered you, drowned you, choked you until you could not release even a gasp in retaliation.

 

                 You feel ashamed.

 

                 You feel powerless.

 

                 And most of all, you feel fear.

 

                 You decide to stick to what you can do. You can plan it all out later. Right now you need to run and take Clarith away.

 

* * *

 

  
[Track 9] We’ll run where lights won’t chase us. Hide where love could save us.

 

                 You were a curious child. As troublesome as your were then, you knew to dispel all irritation you have caused with a bright smile. For you they would always forgive and forget until you trouble them with a different mystery that has caught your fancy. It should not be so surprising that you would know the back streets as if they were the back of your own hand. These roads were dangerous, less traveled, so naturally, the curious and young you had investigated.

 

                 You plan on the way, just like you have noted before. You will face the Earl and set things straight. You cannot forgive your father, and you are appalled at the savagery shown by the the villagers you grew up with and loved. You hate yourself for being a coward and for keeping quiet for so long. You thought yourself so brave for merely acting decently towards Clarith, but now you realize you acted no better. You are no hero, you are Villager A, you remember, a bystander, weak and craven and you hate it all so much.

 

                 You all had stopped to rest by a conifer. Clarith had fallen asleep from the exhaustion and the stress and Michaela had asked you to enlighten her of the situation. And as you do you remember the despicable image of your father in your head, once so pristine, the mismatched faces of the villagers you laughed with under the warm sunlight, now twisted with anger. Your world has crumbled down. The fact sits heavily on the back of your eyes and lodges itself burning from your throat all the way to your chest.

 

                 Michaela gives you a worried stare. Your frustrations must have also deformed your face into one she does not know, one you would have taken care not to show anyone but for this one moment you can’t force yourself to give a damn. This is no time for easygoing smiles, there is no one to look happy for. It was too late to pretend in front of Michaela.

 

                 But you burn, and burn, and burn inside; so you take out your anger on a tree and force yourself to calm down because while this is no time to smile, this is also not the time to lose your temper. This is the time to plan.

 

                 You suggest to take Michaela along with you to talk to the Earl while Clarith hides somewhere safe, but they tell you that they were planning to leave the village anyway, angry mob or no. At the mention of Aceid, you remember the woman who had taken care of you after your mother died and her letters saying she ran an inn there with her husband and you suggest to take them there. Nanny was an immigrant, so she will not care about the color of Clarith’s hair and eyes. Leaving Clarith with Michaela is for the best, you decide. It’s better than leaving her alone with people she does not know.

 

                 As you look at Clarith, the shame rears its ugly head once more, and it steels you. You do not want to part from her, but you know that after everything, you do not have the right to act so friendly with her.

 

                 Too little and too late. The shame leaves a bitter aftertaste to the frustration that burned behind your throat, but neither dampens the resolve you have discovered. You will try once more, for real this time. You will try until you make it up to her and when you do, you will tell her everything.

 

* * *

 

[Track 10] Someday I’ll fly. Someday I’ll soar.

 

                 Your father was arrested, and Clarith’s name is cleared.

 

                 Earl Felix is a good man, and a just leader. This man also reads you easily like a picture book.

 

                 As the chief’s son, you were supposed to take your father’s place. Your father trained you for it, the village expected it, and even you had prepared for it all of your life. You let go of your dreams for that very purpose. But your father was arrested so you cannot succeed, and you do not want to go back to the village anyway. The Earl, then decides to install you in his army, because the man has taken a liking to you and because you are really too predictable.

 

                 With that you are free from your chains, and your dreams buoy you up, gravity shedding every mantle that had trapped you in the depths of the darkness you didn’t know you cloaked yourself in.

 

                 You return to the inn to share the good news with the girls... only they were no longer there.

 

                Mrs. Freezis, your nanny recounts, had hired Clarith and Michaela to be maids in her household. The Freezis family are from Marlon, foreigners like your nanny. Clarith will probably be fine there. You remember later, as you return to the barracks that Earl Felix is good friends with Mr. Freezis.

 

                The Earl can guess what you are thinking and agrees to let you come along as soon as you mention the girls. You would meet with them again after three months. You hope that within the time you spent apart from them, you have become one step closer to becoming a better man.

 

* * *

 

[Track 11] Don’t dull the sparkle in your eyes.

 

                She looks better. Both of them do.

 

                You notice that Clarith was the one who noticed you first and it makes you happy. You like the way she said your name this time because you are not Mr. Ayn, you are just Ayn. There was no trace of fear in the way she said your name, only surprise and you are so happy because that’s something right?

 

                You continue your reunion in the hallway after the arrival of a bespectacled man with an ordinary, albeit confident-looking face which you immediately recognize as Keel Freezis. The common masses have no need to hear their talk, and you yourselves have things to talk about in private.

 

                You see surprise painted on the girls’ faces when it wore off, they ask about the village. You tell them the truth, your father’s arrest, your enlistment in the army, your dream...

 

                Gast Venom was a prodigy with a sword, you heard once; and Leonhart Avadonia was a strong, honorable knight, a living legend. You as you are now, however are weak and powerless. But you remember (you do not forget) that you found something important to you, through that window three times as tall as you were so long ago. You promise now, silently, to that same little girl that you would get stronger; enough so you could protect her this time.

 

                You can dream again because of Clarith. Dream for her, who is now hiding behind Michaela. This small fact reminds you not to get complacent because though you are a soldier in white now,  you still have a long way to go. (Small it may be but it swallows you, a grown man, whole)

 

                The doors open and the two masters emerge. It is time to say goodbye.

 

                After a very amusing (for the Earl, you were stunned) meeting with Clarith’s “Little Master”, Yukina Freezis,  you turn to leave with yours. It assures you to see Mr. Freezis’ calculating facade evolve into an exasperated yet fatherly one. The girls are working for a good man and you are glad for it.

 

                “A – A – Ayn!”

 

                You want to look back, you feel.

 

                You could not. Not yet, you think.

 

                “Thank you for helping us! Thank you very much!”

 

                You gather all your resolve in order to stop yourself from facing her. Your heart screams for you to turn around and hold her, cry to her, “ _thank you! thank you! thank you for letting me dream again!"_ You settle for a carefree wave that is so like and unlike you.

 

                You feel happy. You feel so happy that you yourself smile in earnest for the first time in a long while. It flutters from your stomach, drowns your heart so much it pumps harder, faster, swells into a smile and finally bursts, it’s contents flowing out of your eyes. The more you held back, the more intense you felt it. You only hope that you are far enough into the distance when you can no longer stand the tears and the snot streaming cool and free on the big smile that made a home for itself on your face.

 

                The Earl walks wordlessly beside you. He probably knew that the girls were very special to you, one more than the other.

 

 _But_ , you remind yourself. You are not delusional enough to believe that Clarith suddenly loves you. You hope, you pray, with all of your heart, to all the gods that would listen, that exist, that she would return your love, _but_ reality sinks in and you lose confidence that she would.

 

 _Too little and too late_ , those are the magic words that ground you. _But,_ your hopeful heart protests once more, perhaps just a little bit of your feelings have reached her. _You are one step closer to her,_ that alone soothes the ache left behind by this one-sided love of yours.

 

 _“Ah, I was wrong”,_ you have not told her everything. You could not speak a word for the same reason you could not look back to her.

 

                You have not yet reached you destination, but this is enough for now.

 

* * *

 

[Track 12] I believe that there’s hope buried beneath it all...

 

                You stare at the picture of hell in front of you.

 

                Everyone is dead. Slaughtered. You take in the sight in front of you, people you knew while growing up, fellow soldiers you were just laughing with a few hours ago; they were now corpses strewn about.

 

You lived your peaceful days here. Once upon a time, the village was all you knew. Your neighbors may have been capable of prejudice and cruelty but they were also capable of warmth and kindness. It hurts you to see your home like this.

 

            You sense the movement of shadows, first from the forest, and then the forms which cast them came into view. The two women who have appeared seemed to have entered a house; the same house, you realize, with a window that was once three times your size. That should have been your first clue. You had prayed that Clarith and Michaela had escaped somewhere safe, especially since Michaela’s hair, long, beautiful and green would not escape the Lucifenian soldiers’ notice.

 

            As the enemy soldiers spot the women coming out of Clarith’s house, you knew that you had to get closer. When you saw that white hair that glistened in the moonlight, you didn’t know if you should be happy or be afraid. The girl in the hood must be Michaela then.

 

            You hear the order to kill and you decide that it was now or never. With the element of surprise on your side, you tackle the soldiers and screamed for the girls to run. At the very least, Clarith knew how to navigate her way through the forest she retreated to in the past. This was the advantage of home turf, you think.

 

            When you had caught up with them, you had told them of your plan to split up. Your job is to put as much distance between the enemy soldiers and the girls to buy time and find a hiding place.

 

You would not deny that you felt happy when Clarith asked you to stay. But you had soldiers to distract. Your priority is to save the girls first, and then when all is over, you will allow yourself to bask in that happiness.

 

* * *

 

 

[Track 13] Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.

 

            Tendons are the strings which holds bone and muscle together. You remember eating chicken you once looked after; remember tearing off the leg from the thigh, cursing the tough ribbons that obstruct you. You aim your sword and the Lucifenian soldiers fall like puppets without strings.

 

            After catching up with the girls, you explain the situation. The Elphegortean army had tried to defend the village but were overwhelmed. Those who survived had retreated into the forest.

 

            Though you hoped to have met in better circumstances, deeper down inside you, you felt happy. Because this time, surely you can protect your importan person.

 

            As you were about to say so, it seemed the Lucifenian army had caught up.

 

            “It’s no use trying to hide. Come out!”

 

            You know that they were right. It’s impossible to run forever. The soldiers would just chase you and the girls until you tire out. Though that may be, you still don’t believe that handing Michaela over is right.

 

            It is then that Clarith stares at you with unwavering eyes. They enchant you. They amaze you. The woman in front of you is no longer that meek little rabbit girl cowering from the shadows of the forest. You wonder if you had such an expression when you told them of your dreams. Clarith had grown so much these past moths, and you realize that so have you. The connection makes your heart soar.

 

            “Michaela, lend me your coat.”

 

            ... and plummets down even further down to the pit of your stomach.

 

            Clarith was brave and selfless and strong. You admired her for it, loved her even, but you could not let her go through with this. Was this not the reason you became a soldier? To be strong enough to make that no harm comes to her anymore?

 

            As Michaela objects to Clarith’s plan, you hope that she could sway her friend, but Clarith would not yield. And as she embraces the other girl you finally realize the reason why you felt so jealous of the friendship they shared.

 

            “Michaela, I love you.”

 

            As the woman you love kisses the woman she loves, you wonder: had you ignored your father’s words and made friends with the shy girl you saw through that window so long ago, would you be the one she is kissing now?

 

            Many of your fellow soldiers had fallen prey to this trap called unrequited love. _“Painful”_ , they said, and you feel that pain now too, and agree. _“Too little, too late”_ , the words that have haunted you, since you’ve come to terms with your feelings, echo once more. A laconic description of your relationship with her.

 

            _Do you just give up loving her then?_

 

 _“No”,_ you think, and you don’t want to. You have loved her all this time knowing she does not love you back. At first you wanted to befriend her, then you wanted to protect her and then make her happy. Michaela had done all three with no hesitations and for that reason you can’t fault Clarith for loving her instead.

 

            You are shaken out of your thoughts when Michaela falls limp in Clarith’s arms. The unconscious girl was given a sleeping pill through the kiss, Clarith explains. But the kiss was sincere, you knew without her saying so. You will not fool yourself. Yet even so, you know you will still protect her– both girls without fail.

 

            You hear soldiers coming closer. There is no longer any room for hesitation or regret. Clarith tells you of a well that serves as a hiding place for the Freezis Family and with a sleeping girl in your arms and a determined girl at your side you move on.

 

            You never dreamed of being a prince who could charm a woman. You dreamed of being a knight that could protect her.

 

* * *

 

 

[Track 14] And even though it all went wrong...

           

            A bandage winds itself around your leg. But you are still bleeding out.

 

            Michaela sleeps safely inside the well. Clarith had been taken away by soldiers earlier and now you set out to rescue her. Hopefully they keep her alive somehow, so she could come back to Michaela’s side and live life happily somewhere.

 

            You still love her. This is your love for her. Michaela makes her happy and you are happy with that.

 

            The dizziness affects you as you clumsily climb out of the well. The arrow must have hit an artery. There were no needles or thread in the well. There is a definite possibility that you will die just trying to save Clarith.

 

            It was probably better this way, you think. Had she loved you, then she would have loved a dying man that would cause her grief, and you don’t want that.

 

            You think of the handful of times that you have spoken to her. You try to imagine her smile, and realize you have only seen it once. But Clarith can smile now. More and more. (You wish she could smile even more after this).

 

            You are content. The wound on your leg and the cold seeping into your fingertips are uncomfortable but this is fine. You did not fulfil your dream, but you tried and surely everything would be okay. In the end, there were no regrets, no words which haunted you, no pain or longing in your slowly beating heart, only peace and a wish.

 

            _Please live happily_

 

            Smiling in earnest, Ayn breathed his last.

 

* * *

 

 

[Hidden Track] You may not remember me...

 

            You sit by the sapling, now growing into a healthy shrub, once more. _Michaela_. It had been years since you planted her with Rin and more since you've spoken to each other, yet you visit her and speak to her though she could not speak back.

 

            You tell her how you found a Netsuma boy on the doorstep of the monastery. An infant swaddled in a blanket and nothing more. You remember a crying girl under a tree and then an older girl praying to have one friend. You remember your mother and decide to lead by her example.

 

            A flock of robins fly east. They were normal birds, grey and red, but you feel nostalgic today and you decide to follow them.

 

            You are lead to a well, one you are familiar with. A tomb stone stood by the side. You remember a boy staring at you while Chelsea, Alma, and Barbara listed all the reasons why a filthy Netsuma can't play with them. But more than that, you remember his back; leading you away from the village you lived your whole life in, walking away with Earl Felix while waving his hand after you thanked him, carrying Michaela while leading him to the well...

 

            You walk towards the headstone and you crouch down to face it.

 

            _" HERE LIES AYN, A BRAVE WARRIOR."_

 

             You remember that the baby still had no name. You smile.

 

              _Thank you._

 

**Author's Note:**

> The songs have nothing to do with anything at all, they're just lines that are vaguely related. I just want them there for organizational purposes.
> 
> But if you're curious:
> 
> Track 0- Ariplanes Part 2 (B.o.B. ft. Eminem & Hayley Williams)  
> Track 1- Human (The Killers)  
> Intermission- Gifts and Curses (Yellowcard)  
> Track 2- To the Moon& Back (Savage Garden)  
> Track 3- No News is Good News (New Found Glory)  
> Track 4- Emergency (Paramore)  
> Track 5- When We Were Young (The Killers)  
> Track 6- She Will Be Loved (Maroon 5)  
> Track 7- You're Beautiful (James Blunt)  
> Intermission- Stolen (Dashboard Confessional)  
> Track 8- Time and Confusion (Anberlin)  
> Track 9- Spectrum (Zedd ft. Matthew Koma)  
> Track 10- Bigger Than My Body (John Mayer)  
> Track 11- Stay the Night (Zedd ft. Hayley Williams)  
> Track 12- Let the Flames Begin (Paramore)  
> Track 13- The Scientist (Coldplay)  
> Track 14- Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen/ Jeff Buckley)  
> Hidden Track- Think of Me (Andrew Lloyd Webber for Phantom of the Opera)


End file.
